Quotes by Jay Leno

About Jay Leno:

James Douglas Muir is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, voice actor, and television host. He was the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992 to 2009. Beginning in September 2009, Leno started a primetime talk show, titled The Jay Leno Show, which aired weeknights at 10:00 p.m. ET, also on NBC.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

Jay Leno

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.

Jay Leno

With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the...

Jay Leno

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

Jay Leno

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Jay Leno

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issu...

Jay Leno

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Jay Leno

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate.

Jay Leno

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Jay Leno

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.

Jay Leno

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

Jay Leno

You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.

Jay Leno

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Jay Leno

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

Jay Leno

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

Jay Leno

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Jay Leno

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.

Jay Leno

They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys. It's worked for over 200 years, and Hell, we're not using it anymore.

Jay Leno

Author Bio

  • NameJay Leno
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian, actor, writer, producer, voice actor and television host
  • AliasesJames Douglas Muir Leno
  • BornApril 28, 1950
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Television Presenter; Voice Actor
  • AwardsPrimetime Emmy Award