A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, and everybody’s happy but the tax collector.
A brick could be crushed, mixed with water, and drunk like a sports drink. And hey, with no bromated vegetable oil, it’s healthier than Gatorade.
A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to help build their future.
A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn.
A brick could be used to separate the Jorges from the hoorays.
A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum.
A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so bummed out that she never calls me.
A blanket, as the epitome of warmth, could be used to stop colds. Also, sex with me might be the surest way to prevent a cold.
I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.
A brick could be given as a graduation gift to a C student. It’s like here, welcome to a life in the construction industry.
A blanket could be used to keep you warm on a cold night. Just pour some gasoline on it and light it on fire.
A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in your bare bed.
A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams.
A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone will want to splash ink on it and try to impregnate the minds of the people.
Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
A brick could be used to tell the time. If you can see it it’s daytime, and if you can’t see it it’s nighttime.
A brick could be used as a flying decision inducer. You could have said yes before I threw the brick, but I suppose you’ll be more agreeable when you wake up from your coma.
A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate the previous highs of the housing market.
A brick could be used as a basketball. And when you miss a shot, you can always shout, “Brick!”
A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.
A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose him in his room.
