A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good looking person, like a news anchor, to give it out to the masses and say soothing things with a straight face and all will be OK and the system will continue on as centrall...
A blanket could be used to represent a thing. Now this thing is curious, because it represents an idea. This idea is called sleep, and as far as ideathings go, it’s about as relaxing as it gets. Ideas within sleep are called dreams, and they are li...
A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick on the book’s cover, to discourage people from opening it up.
A blanket could be used to cover my couch. Nobody should see that I constructed my sofa on the bones of my ancestors.
A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism.
A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a gate holding you back, man.
The Builders are building with you in mind, dear citizen, so don’t worry your tiny mind about whether the bricks they are using are going to construct schools or prisons. They won’t tell, and you can’t tell, so just keep watching the news and i...
A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm, right?
A blanket could be divided into four even parts and given to three equal people. I’d be an ideal politician, because I believe in social progress.
A blanket could be used like a cat, if it were furry and purred.
A blanket could be used as one square on a giant checkerboard.
A brick could be used to cut things. The duller the object, the sharper the user has to be to make it work.
A blanket could be used to sail with the wind. That wind is provided by my ceiling fan, and my boat is my bed. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll teach you the art of seafaring.
A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!
A brick could be used as a headstone. Or the instrument that proves “until death do us part” is faster and cheaper than a divorce.
A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.
A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.
A blanket could be used to help me with the love and affection of Taylor Swift. If that sounds unbelievable, then try reading it soundlessly.
Bricks could be used to fill my empty trophy cabinet. But first I’ve got to win them.
A brick could be used as another brick, as they all look the same. So yes, I am for human cloning as a means to build the future.
Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.
