My writing doesn’t improve if you think it’s great, and it doesn’t lessen if you think it sucks. Likewise, you not showing me love doesn’t mean mine for you has to be invisible. The two are as unrelated as me and my foster parents.
It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than staring at a blank screen thinking about nothing because you’re trying to think about everything. Try writing about love. I’ve proven you don’t need to know anythi...
I like using White Out. But sometimes backspace or delete works just as well, when I don’t have Windex to clean my computer screen.
When a writer has deep thoughts, I expect him to also have a deep voice. And if he doesn’t, he should remain silent and let his writer’s voice do all the speaking for him.
Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.
When I'm in yoga class, and I'm in the Tree Pose, I always pretend I'm the Tree of Knowledge. To help further the fantasy I come to class with my yoga shorts stuffed with two apples.
I wrote a zen koan once about love, but it didn’t make any sense. That’s how I knew I had accurately described love.
I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
My love is like hooray! Special terms and conditions may apply. See dealer for details. Coupon not valid with any other offer.
The schizophrenic in the sleeping bag with a live chicken and a can of tomato soup spilling onto the sidewalk had no right to steal my street performance.
She had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smile mounted on my wall like a pair of antlers.
At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
I talked to him on Christmas, and again on March 5th. Neither one of us hung up the phone that whole time.
When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box.
Words are all we’ve got. Besides, of course, actions. But you can’t print out and read actions. Actions also don’t carry ideas with the same ease as words.
Be the cheeseburger you’ve always dreamed you could be. That’s the advice I’d give to any hamburger running for political office.
Sometimes I get advice from the fictional characters in my dreams. Sometimes It’s good, and sometimes it’s nonsensical.
Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers.
The best way to hide a body is to convert it to saltwater and then dump it in the ocean. But whatever you do, do not drink it!
My rule of thumb for hitchhiking is: stick it up straight and proud and make if visible to all drivers.
The boxer had two black eyes. But that’s to be expected, since he was from Africa.
