In LaLa Land, there is only one kind of sex that's logical. In a made-up land, such as LaLa Land, the citizens are forever engaging in make-up sex.
If you replace the letter "s" with the letter "x," you can make a lot of plural words naughty. For example, "fences" would become "fencex," and I'd say good fencex makes good neighbors.
My girlfriend Likes Sex and the City. Trouble is, I live in the country.
Of all things possible, the impossible is the only one worth skipping sex for.
I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.
The two sisters wouldn’t sleep with me. But it’s cool, because they were nuns, and I didn’t have my clerical costume on.
I always get whiplash when I have sex in the backseat. Boy, I sure wish Grandmother would learn how to drive.
We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.
I make love like a half an hour minus 27 minutes. If you’re as bad in bed as I am in math, that’s roughly four minutes. And I do mean rough.
For men, money, like sex, is something that nearly everybody wants more of, and unless you are famous or influential, you probably have to work hard to get any.
When sex is Freon any occasion, it usually involves something dripping and toxic. At least that's what my mechanic tells me.
I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.
If I were a hermaphrodite, and someone told me to go fuck myself, I'd reply, "Why thank you. I think I will!
If I were a number, I’d want to have sextillion with you.
Having sex on a motorcycle wouldn’t only be exciting, it’d be dangerous. What if while we were parked we got broadsided by a speeding bicycle?
I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.
My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.
We made love for 8 seconds. She rode me like a bull.
Shaving a sheep is considered foreplay in some countries. But I don’t consider foreplay at all, not even before sex.
I make love like the desert. Ever implemented a cactus during foreplay?
I'll bring "The Hammer," let's have a Thorsome.
