Quotes by Jarod Kintz

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

My facial features smell as rugged as a rose looks. Isn’t my nose the most romantically smelling thing?

Jarod Kintz

I’m romantic. I’ll try to make your bed while you’re still sleeping in it.

Jarod Kintz

The last time I saw love was in my imagination while reading a book on Thomas Jefferson. Isn’t the Constitution of the United States so romantic?

Jarod Kintz

Her bag is full of green apples, except for one red one. I gave her the red one, as if to say, “Stop!” Don’t stop loving me—stop and love me.

Jarod Kintz

If I were in Steve Prefontaine’s shoes, I’d have done the same thing he did. Except for all that running. I wouldn’t have done that.

Jarod Kintz

I’ve been to 8 Mile. I condensed a half marathon into it.

Jarod Kintz

You’re as likely to see me sleeping on the job as a snooze is liable to grow legs 26.2 miles long and run a larm. What’s a larm? A buzzing sound the length of a marathon, but I always sleep through them—including the one in Boston.

Jarod Kintz

She must have said wear flip-flops, but I heard flippers. I might not have been able to run fast, but oh could I swim. Like a dolphin. Mahi-mahi yum!

Jarod Kintz

Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like ostrich, because I’m always running from it.

Jarod Kintz

I started out on a treadmill—and I just did my first marathon. And all while sitting in a wheelchair. 

Jarod Kintz

I'm the only person I know who has slept through a fire drill. Apparently, I pulled the alarm. Yeah, I sleepwalk. Sometimes I sleep run. I was asleep when I ran the Boston Marathon. I was so tired when I finished that I slept for another sixteen hour...

Jarod Kintz

In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity.

Jarod Kintz

The question is not how much work are you willing to put in, but what are you willing to take out? Success is sacrifice.

Jarod Kintz

All I could do was laugh, but it wasn’t funny. I find it incredibly sad to be tickled by an orphan.

Jarod Kintz

To me, life is sad, like a piano with no pedals being played by a person with no fingers. 

Jarod Kintz

Weeping willows remind me of summer. And sadness. I wonder if tissues are made out of their trunks.

Jarod Kintz

What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.

Jarod Kintz

Weeping willows always remind me of summer. And sadness. Please stop crying sweet tree.

Jarod Kintz

I’ll give you a glass of wine, if you give me a few drops of water from your eyes. I’m thirsty for your sadness.

Jarod Kintz

I walk slowly when I’m being introspective and nostalgic. Some might call it moping. But I don’t. I call it love.

Jarod Kintz

I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.

Jarod Kintz