I plant the “flag” in camouflage, though you couldn’t see by looking at it. (I hide behind my patriotism, and I hide my patriotism among red, white, and blue foliage.)
I think Gummy Bears should be the universal symbol for peace, because peace leads to prosperity, prosperity leads to decadence, and decadence leads to diabetes.
If I had the word “war” in my last name, like “Flowar,” I’d probably be a peaceful guy.
I’d start a war just to illustrate the value of peace.
A telephone cord used to make an excellent leash on people. Now metal chains work better.
People are like puzzles. Especially interconnected people, like Siamese twins.
In middle school I used to draw letters of the alphabet out of contorted torsos, bodies, arms, legs. A rigid torso with one arm and one leg extended at straight angles out would form a “K,” for example. But then I realized how silly that was. Peo...
We all know that products don’t drive sales—people do. We buy the person, not the service.
Keep your wife happy by living in a slightly nicer house than your neighbor. And you can do this by living in a poorer neighborhood than you ever imagined.
A sample may taste better than the whole, because it’s meant for a taste test, which is perceptually expected to garner favorable results. This is why I can’t give you all my love. Plus, you don’t have a container big enough to hold all my love...
He has one of the worst personalities. Actually, you can’t call it a personality, since he acts more like an animal than a person.
I is not only a letter, I is me. So in that respect, I guess I am a simple guy.
I’ve always been a pretty open person, much like a 9-5 store at 6.
I’d like to let another person reveal my personality, and I’d like this person to be my clone. My clone would see me from the inside, as well as the outside.
I am a rebel! But I don’t want people to agree with my views, because if everyone agreed with me then I wouldn’t be rebellious anymore. Did you hear what I heard? Because I heard what I said. Hear what I mean, which is not necessarily what I say.
People think I’m all gloom and doom all the time. I’m not. I also have bad days where I’m pessimistic.
My name is Hope Happy, and I am a pessimist.
There is until there isn’t. That’s just the way it is. Until it isn’t.
The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself, and you can clearly tell I have no money.
If I ever see an alien fishing in Scotland, and witness it catching the Loch Ness Monster, I’d probably assume the world would want me to write a poem about the event, rather than take pictures of it.
I took some naked pictures the other day. I don’t feel shamed, but I do feel remorse over having to steal the whole camera to get the pictures.
