Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is reflected off the moon.
I’m sad that I’m leaving, but I’m happy that I’m going. The thing is, I am in love, and I’m going to be in love—but there are two people, two places, and one destination—in love.
Hard work sends your opponent a message. It says you’re not talented enough to win on intrinsic merit alone. I sent my opponent a message. It said, “I’m to lazy to edit before hitting send.
I work hard for my money. It feels very liberating to be broke.
A trophy isn’t about the hardware, the gold-painted statue mounted on marble, it’s about the recognition of excellence. A trophy is a physical representation of the abstract concepts of hard work and dedication. And that’s precisely why I don�...
I need to work smarter, harder, faster, and longer than you. And if I still don't come out in front, then simply changing directions will correct that.
Hard work would really open doors for me. So would being disabled.
I train for the winning moments, hoping all those seconds off the clock will lead to firsts. I train for seconds, that’s all—not even a cumulative minute—and that’s why I only ever earn seconds. Still, I’d rather have time and silver than g...
Don’t put the hat in hate and then wear it around with pride. Wear your love like socks for gloves, and let the world know you're serious.
Orafoura, The Mythical Mr. Boo, and Love made flesh walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, “What’ll it be, fellas?” Orafoura replies, “Love.” The Mythical Mr. Boo says, “Hate.” And Love made flesh says, “I agree with both these guys...
Wrapped inside one is love. Wrapped inside another is hate. What do you think is wrapped inside the third? If you answered meat, beans, and cheese, you'd be correct.
Even though I wore an eye patch, the Cyclops and I, we didn’t see eye to eye. We argued about the nature of love, and I hated it, so in the name of love I had to stab him.
At night my shadow multiplies, and clones itself into total darkness. Half of all nudists hate me half the time, and half love me half the time. Sadly for me, the half who love me are the fat ones.
The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.
I want to make a coffee table that consists of a slab of wood supported by four crutches. That way, if a guest ever comes up to me and says, "I accidentally broke one of the legs on your coffee table," I could respond, "Don't worry, those legs are se...
Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush.
I want to write a book called Kissing Kissinger. It won’t be about kissing, Kissinger, or even politics. It’ll be about radiator fluid, and all the health benefits you can enjoy from chugging it.
I can fly a plane, but I can’t fly a planet. Not without a seatbelt the size of the equator. The way I eat @McDonalds, I may need a seatbelt that fat.
If I can’t see the bottom, I don’t know how much is left. Why does my love have to be so thick? I suppose because it keeps the engine of your heart running smooth.
As our bodies are mostly made of water, I’d rather be hungry than thirsty. And as love is mostly made up of sugar water, I’d rather be a hummingbird caged in your heart.
I’ll give you the key to my heart, if you promise not to make duplicates.
