We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars).
I put out the Greg Call, which sounds like a whistle-quack, and a few dozen Toms responded. The only time I need a Tom is tomorrow.
A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.
With the interconnectedness of it all, the world is more fluid than ever. I blame it on the rain. Milli Vanilli was ahead of their time.
I've always been one to share things. Particularly things like responsibility and blame.
The number I had for her didn’t work. But in this depression, could you blame it?
A magician who could make the audience’s problems disappear—now that’s someone I’d pay to throw tomatoes at. If I didn’t have any problems, I’d still have a problem, because I’d have nothing to blame my failures on.
I didn’t have time to bury the money. All my precious time was taken up burying the body. I should have left the body and hid the cash. Damn! Now I’ve got no body, but no money, and nobody to blame but myself.
It takes a lot of commitment to sit on a committee. Only the most courageous could boldly command all that power, yet remain detached from any personal blame.
Don’t point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand around it, grip it tight, and jerk it off. That’s how a real politician defers blame.
My sheets are so white they look like Google’s homepage. They even have a touch of red on them, from that double homicide back in December.
I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus.
I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only bleed red. But I pee white and my balls are blue, so doesn’t that count for something?
I’m hypoglycemic and squeamish and liable to pass out at the first sign of blood. That happened this morning. I came into the kitchen and found blood on the floor, right next to a few dead hookers.
If I were to be elected World Leader someday, I’d wear an outfit made of Band-Aids, as a symbolic gesture of sticking together, healing, and the blood soon to be spilt.
Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent, how do you know what shape it is?” Good question. Well, for one thing, I put it together, and for another, I’m currently wearing it like body armor (though to ...
If a building were shaped like a body, I’d imagine you’d exit out the rear.
She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down question mark.
I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you.
I ate the evidence he’d been murdered. What Carl called “Kevin,” I called dinner.
I’m very proud of my body of work. You should see it naked sometime.
