Being negative, that’s no good. Also, being no good is no good. By your silence I can tell that you love me. Either that or you’re a disciple of Helen Keller.
I blink like a blanket. I’m not asleep—this extended motionlessness is how I make love.
Would a boring machine drill holes—or put you to sleep? I make love like a robot, so maybe I do both.
Love is seeing her smile as if it’s a sunrise. It’s beautiful, but geez, I wish she’d quit grinning at me while I’m trying to sleep.
When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m making love. I need to arrange my priorities. Sleeping should be first.
The best day of the week to fall in love is always today. Today will happen again tomorrow, so I’m comfortable sleeping alone for the next 24 hours straight.
We made love like two sticks of butter melting in the snow. I mean freezing.
The institution asked me to speak and say a few words. So, knowing a few is three, I said, I love you.
I fight with the strength of many lion meows. I love even more ferociously.
I have 26 silly faces, each represents a different letter of the alphabet. So while you think I am grimacing over what you are talking about, I am really spelling out I love you.
Love is 60% water, because a human being, the essence of love, is 60% water. But that’s the other 40% made up of? Easy—minty green tea and honey.
We made love like ten minutes ago. I still remember it vividly, even though our brief sexual encounter took place ten years ago.
If two trees played each other, I don’t know who I’d root for. Probably the tree that’d make the better lover.
Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls.
I fed her a placebo, a sugar pill, and then tried to sugarcoat the truth. The truth was I was lying when I said I loved her. Oh, I it was true I loved her, but not when I said I did.
If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
I’m walking downstairs and upstairs at the same time. I’m in love.
Love is like war, and I am the picnic basket out on the battlefield.
Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.
I wanted to learn about love, so I read about war.
We made love like we made grilled cheese sandwiches. Did the sandwiches cause us to have sex? Did one bullet lead to WWI?
