My humble spirit takes shape as mashed potatoes on the side. I already ate the instructions.
Mr. Armstrong has strong arms. Probably from bicycling so much. And steroids.
I have a hidden talent. I hid it in the dungeon. Why don’t you go down there and have a look at it? I’ll lock up after you.
My hotel room has a great view. The view is right in front of the TV.
A mirror is like my own personal reality TV show—where I’m both the star and only viewer. I’ve got to get my ratings up.
You can find me somewhere between 3:32 and 3:34. The where is also the when.
I apologized for punching him. I thought he was attacking me with a karate chop disguised as a handshake.
I was naked, except for two shower caps on my feet. Gotta save water somehow.
I’m a fountain of knowledge, like a water fountain, only thirstier. And quenchier.
I have developed a flavorless soup that’s indistinguishable from hot water. It’s the first soup to taste great frozen. Would you like some to go, in a thermos?
I’m a party animal. And that animal is a bear, during the winter months.
I messed around once with a woman named Twice. But it won’t happen a third time.
I have a way with women. Dyslexic drivers know which way: Wrong Way.
When she walked out of my life, I raced after her. I was scrambling like scrambled eggs that were runny.
How am I? I would be good if I weren’t stuck at work. I work at a glue factory.
I am a man of action, like a statue of a guy running. In business, when a salesman and a customer race each other, both win.
Personal brands are determined by a track record of actions, not a track record of plans.
Do or don’t, there is no don. Don is an honor not bestowed on any procrastinator, not even a professor at Oxford.
A brand is built action by action, just as houses are built brick by brick. Is the identity of your personal brand homeless?
The cool thing about getting older, is that you have so much to look back on. If you take the time to reflect on your life journey to where you are now, you will be amazed at how many times “fate” caused you to make great decisions that lead you ...
Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business.
