Quotes by Ilona Andrews

About Ilona Andrews:

Ilona Andrews is the pen name of Andrew Gordon and Ilona Gordon, an American husband-and-wife duo who write urban fantasy and romantic fiction together.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slits somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.

Ilona Andrews

You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron.

Ilona Andrews

I dreamed that Curran and I killed a dinosaur and then had sex in the dirt.

Ilona Andrews

What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.

Ilona Andrews

If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I...

Ilona Andrews

May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.

Ilona Andrews

I lied. I need your help." "Who are we killing?" "Do you have a pen?

Ilona Andrews

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.

Ilona Andrews

Put your badass faces on and follow me.

Ilona Andrews

I turned and bumped my head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.

Ilona Andrews

I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. "Stay here. Guard the car." Saiman shut the door. "Is the sword sentient?" "No. But I like to pretend it is.

Ilona Andrews

Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him?

Ilona Andrews

My investigative technique mostly consisted of going through the list of interested parties and making as much noise as possible, until the culprit lost his patience and tried to shut me up.

Ilona Andrews

Would you like to work here with me? We have no clients and the pay is shit.

Ilona Andrews

You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?" The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. "Sure, do you have one handy?

Ilona Andrews

We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns. How do you know he is a sex fiend? He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello?

Ilona Andrews

I wouldn't be able to do anything with my vampire horde except make it run around in a herd, but it would be a very impressive herd.

Ilona Andrews

Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened.

Ilona Andrews

We can do subtle," I assured her. "It's our middle name," Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced.

Ilona Andrews

They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her. ...

Ilona Andrews

Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare. I leaned a little toward Luther. "Is this the part where I faint in fear?" Luther bit his lip. "He might also accept falling to your knees and holding your hands in humb...

Ilona Andrews

Author Bio

  • NameIlona Andrews
  • DescriptionAmerican husband-and-wife novelist duo
  • AliasesAndrew Gordon; Ilona Gordon
  • ProfessionNovelist