Quotes by Groucho Marx

About Groucho Marx:

Julius Henry was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you ...

Groucho Marx

I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy i...

Groucho Marx

Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report! Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.

Groucho Marx

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

Groucho Marx

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.

Groucho Marx

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Groucho Marx

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.

Groucho Marx

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Groucho Marx

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

Groucho Marx

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Groucho Marx

Room service? Send up a larger room." [ ]

Groucho Marx

The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.

Groucho Marx

We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.

Groucho Marx

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

Groucho Marx

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx

Author Bio

  • NameGroucho Marx
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • BornOctober 2, 1890
  • DiedAugust 19, 1977
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor
  • AwardsCommandeur Des Arts Et Des Lettres?