Quotes by Groucho Marx

About Groucho Marx:

Julius Henry was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. His rapid-fire, often impromptu delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers and imitators.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Groucho Marx

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Groucho Marx

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Groucho Marx

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Groucho Marx

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Groucho Marx

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Groucho Marx

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.

Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

Author Bio

  • NameGroucho Marx
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • BornOctober 2, 1890
  • DiedAugust 19, 1977
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor
  • AwardsCommandeur Des Arts Et Des Lettres?