Quotes by Greg Behrendt

About Greg Behrendt:

Gregory Behrendt is an American comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived television shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Greg Behrendt's Wake Up Call (2009).
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold out...

Greg Behrendt

You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.

Greg Behrendt

Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.

Greg Behrendt

There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.

Greg Behrendt

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.

Greg Behrendt

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.

Greg Behrendt

I believe in love the verb, not the noun.

Greg Behrendt

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Greg Behrendt

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.

Greg Behrendt

He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.

Greg Behrendt

The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.

Greg Behrendt

You are not easily forgotten.

Greg Behrendt

Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that th...

Greg Behrendt

The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.

Greg Behrendt

I rarely sit down to write something. I usually have an experience and relate it to somebody and go, 'There I connected some dots,' you know? That's what makes people laugh. And then you go and take it on the stage, and sometimes it works, and someti...

Greg Behrendt

The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.

Greg Behrendt

I was always funny, but I wasn't a great musician, and I wanted to be a musician way more than I wanted to be a comic. I just didn't think comedians were cool when I was a kid.

Greg Behrendt

Social media is a really cool way to tell your story to people who are interested in hearing it. It's not getting put through the filter of a television executive who's decided you're too old to justify the expenditure.

Greg Behrendt

I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. It's...

Greg Behrendt

I went to stand-up when my rock n' roll dreams weren't coming true. I knew it wasn't going to happen when I was in a New Wave band in 1992 - at the height of grunge. Then I heard No Doubt's 'Spiderwebs' and I said, 'Well, we're done.' They did - and ...

Greg Behrendt

Author Bio

  • NameGreg Behrendt
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • BornJuly 21, 1963
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionScreenwriter
  • WorksHe's Just Not That Into You