Quotes by Gilbert Gottfried

About Gilbert Gottfried:

Gilbert Gottfried is an American stand-up comedian, actor and voice artist. His numerous roles in film and television include voicing the parrot Iago in Disney's Aladdin and Digit in the children's cartoon/educational math-based show Cyberchase. Gottfried was also the voice of the Aflac Duck until 2011. He has hosted a weekly podcast featuring an interview, usually with a different comedy writer or comedian each week, since May 2014.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

Gilbert Gottfried

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

Gilbert Gottfried

My family originally lived in Brooklyn. Our first apartment was a little place above my father and uncle's hardware store in Coney Island. Now, don't get the impression that we were surrounded by merry-go-rounds, roller coasters and Ferris wheels. No...

Gilbert Gottfried

One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on the...

Gilbert Gottfried

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, ...

Gilbert Gottfried

I found out about Jonathan Winters' death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashian's divorce before she did.

Gilbert Gottfried

There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.

Gilbert Gottfried

The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.

Gilbert Gottfried

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Gilbert Gottfried

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Gilbert Gottfried

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

Gilbert Gottfried

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

Gilbert Gottfried

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

Gilbert Gottfried

If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, don't laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your eyes. Then you wait for his next joke; if that's funny, then you laugh. If i...

Gilbert Gottfried

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.

Gilbert Gottfried

Author Bio

  • NameGilbert Gottfried
  • DescriptionAmerican actor
  • BornFebruary 28, 1955
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Seiy?