About George Mikes: George Mikes was a Hungarian-born British author best known for his humorous commentaries on various countries.
5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to kill, rob, embezzle, shoot, poison, and generally speaking, how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school. 6. Television put...
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go for a walk with your dog, talk to it all the time.
Q. Why don't the British panic? A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.
When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.
In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.
Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.
The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count.
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
