Quotes by Garrison Keillor

About Garrison Keillor:

Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor is an American author, storyteller, humorist, and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion (called Garrison Keillor's Radio Show in some international syndication). Keillor created the fictional Minnesota town Lake Wobegon, the setting of many of his books, including Lake Wobegon Days and Leaving Home: A Collection of Lake Wobegon Stories. Other creations include Guy Noir, whom Keillor also voices, a detective who appears in A Prairie Home Companion.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Garrison Keillor

I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.

Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Garrison Keillor

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.

Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.

Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

Garrison Keillor

I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.

Garrison Keillor

I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.

Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

Garrison Keillor

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder ...

Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Garrison Keillor

I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.

Garrison Keillor

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me.

Garrison Keillor

The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.

Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Garrison Keillor

Author Bio

  • NameGarrison Keillor
  • DescriptionAmerican writer
  • BornAugust 7, 1942
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionAuthor; Radio Host
  • AwardsNational Humanities Medal