Quotes by Garrison Keillor

About Garrison Keillor:

Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor is an American author, storyteller, humorist, and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion (called Garrison Keillor's Radio Show in some international syndication). Keillor created the fictional Minnesota town Lake Wobegon, the setting of many of his books, including Lake Wobegon Days and Leaving Home: A Collection of Lake Wobegon Stories. Other creations include Guy Noir, whom Keillor also voices, a detective who appears in A Prairie Home Companion.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.

Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

Garrison Keillor

What would people think?' Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats. Constant motion. That's why you have to look at the heart. 'Oh,' said Grandpa.

Garrison Keillor

I ran a constant low fever waiting for my ride to come and take me away to something finer. I lay in bed at night, watching the red beacon on top of the water tower, a clear signal to me of the beauty and mystery of a life that waited for me far away...

Garrison Keillor

The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.

Garrison Keillor

My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept their work as praise because, my God, they don’t have time for everything.

Garrison Keillor

I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe...

Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Garrison Keillor

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

Garrison Keillor

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

Garrison Keillor

Don't worry about the past and don't try to figure out the future

Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

Garrison Keillor

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.

Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

Garrison Keillor

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

Garrison Keillor

I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York f...

Garrison Keillor

I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.

Garrison Keillor

Author Bio

  • NameGarrison Keillor
  • DescriptionAmerican writer
  • BornAugust 7, 1942
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionAuthor; Radio Host
  • AwardsNational Humanities Medal