I had a dream about you. The stars in the constellations lined up, the portals between the heavens were opened, and you were looking for a blood sacrifice to make the trip. And I was there, ready to sell you a box of used tampons.
I had a dream about you. You were a dolphin in a fur coat, and I was your shrink telling you that you were experiencing feelings of mammal inadequacies. You thought instead of paying me, your money would be better spent on sex, and I agreed. So I sol...
I had a dream I was a millionaire. So I'm still in my coma don't try and wake me.
I once had a dream and then I told my friend he is such a dick his name is Richard.
I had a dream about you. We watched the sunset together like a couple of perverts in a peep show. I really liked your idea of cutting a hole in a sheet of plywood, because it made the whole experience more erotic.
I had a dream about you. I walked by and you whistled like I was a piece of meat. And I was a piece of meat—I was a thin slice of ham. You were two pieces of bread, so we made love like most mothers make lunch for their kids. That sounded dirtier t...
I had a dream about you. You were a smile salesman, and I was in the market for a new grin. When you told me your prices, I thought it was a joke and I started to laugh. Then I realized you’d just given me your product for free, and I walked away w...
I had a dream last night I was on tinder and all the picks were me in make up I was like she's hot I'd do her. I just walked into my therapist office.
I had a dream about you. The Tuesdays were outside of my castle demanding that I hand you over to them. They weren’t seeking justice—they were out for vengeance. You were Wendy Wednesday, the last of The Wednesdays, and this feud went back a long...
I had a dream about you. You were learning how to swim, and I was learning how to drown. We each studied the other’s technique. Swimming and drowning and both of us doing both taught us a lot about love.
I had a dream I bought a popcorn maker that would pop pennies into cornuts, so I bought stock in corn wow was I nuts. That's what my therapist said. He is just plain nuts and they are not salty at all. Lies!
I had a dream about you. I was at your family reunion, and your grandma was chugging the hunch punch with all the confidence of a mature woman in diapers. I was on Wheelchair Patrol, and your uncle Kunkel kept sneaking off to the women’s restroom, ...
I had a dream about you. You were playing the piano in a bar lit by neon blue lights. Smoke hung in the air like a cloud that never rains. I asked if you could play the song, “The Meat In My Fridge Never Goes Rotten,” but you claimed to have neve...
I had a dream about you. We watched the water in the toilet swirl down like a liquid tornado, and we wondered if we’d just flushed away our last chance at love. We’d used all the toilet paper, so you had nothing to blow your nose with. So I gave ...
I had a dream about you. We walked along the beach like two lovers in motorized wheelchairs. You said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and I replied, “Nothing is more romantic than being able to park in a handicapped spot.”
I had a dream about you. You listened quietly as I told my idea for an invention that could dry your hair with in minutes of getting out of the bath. After giving you my pitch you said "Like a blow dryer" I became so embarrassed that I put my head in...
