I had a dream about you. I was a cat. You were a red dot. And even those times I caught you, we couldn't touch. But still I chased you anyway.
I had a dream about you. We were shoveling dollar bills and used diapers and laughing like children. I was dancing like I had a fog machine in my pants, and I did, which is my moves were so mysterious.
I had a dream about you. Half the people wanted to kill me, and half the people wanted me as their President. It was up to you whether I lived or reigned, and you made the logical choice—you chose not to choose. You exercised your right to not exer...
I had a dream about you. You had just developed a way to drink sleep, and I owned a coffee shop. You wanted to partner up, but I suggested a more natural fit would be with a hotel. I recommended a sleazy one downtown, where all the hookers go to sell...
I had a dream about you. We drank coffee and laughed like old friends, even though we were strangers bathing in the Brown River of Wakefulness. I laughed because you were naked, and you laughed because I’d just overpaid for a cup of coffee at Starb...
I had a dream about you. We were waiting in line, and you were right in front of me. The line was three people long, and I felt like the bronze medalist of the Checkout Championship. You must have felt like a winner, because you didn’t seem to be i...
I had a dream about you. I had superhuman strength, not unlike I possess when I’m awake, and you wanted me to enter and win the World’s Strongest Man competition. I told you my super strength should be used for the good of humanity, as I tossed a...
I had a dream about you. You were the lead guitarist in a band with no voice, and you were holding auditions for lead singer. Everybody in line in front of me and behind me was a mime, so I felt confident I’d get the gig. I felt my performance was ...
I had a dream about you. You took a cruise, and I took a canoe. I paddled alongside your ship out into the Atlantic Ocean and down to the Caribbean. I shouted “I love you” the whole way, but you couldn’t hear me, probably because that man you w...
I had a dream about you, You were peeing behind a house and when I approached you, you smiled and said to me "Your face makes me happy" I was so flattered by your words and impressed that you could pee and still talk to me. ...
I had a dream about you. You were cooking me dinner, and I was standing by the stove questioning your every move. You found me ungrateful, and I found the number for Chinese takeout. I may not have wanted your food, but I still wanted your love. Your...
I had a dream about you. I was cooking spaghetti for two, and when you asked what I was doing, I said, “I’m cooking spaghetti for two.” Then you said I was the most romantic man you’d ever met, and I nodded my head and said, “I just hope th...
I had a dream about you. I had a boomerang and you had a Frisbee. You asked if I wanted to play catch, and I said yes. Then you stood around waiting for me to throw to you, and I just looked at you like you were crazy, because I had a boomerang—and...
I had a dream about you. The blue sky matched the blue in your eyes, though you had a few more clouds in your irises. When you got sad, you didn’t cry—you rained, and that’s why I approached you to try to sell you a nose umbrella, something tha...
I had a dream about you reviewing a book on Reading Rainbow. Unlike the others, you were brutally honest in your feedback and brought Lavar and I to tears.
I had a dream about you. I asked you to dance, and you said you already had a partner. That was when I noticed you were embracing a mannequin, and I felt my face get flushed and I felt flustered. It’s embarrassing when a mannequin is a better dance...
I had a dream about you. We were out to dinner I am guessing it was our first date, because I was so nervous and had to sneeze but was trying to hold back because my sneezes can be very obnoxious. I could no longer hold it back and upon sneezing I fa...
I had a dream about you, you invited me shopping and I was so excited at the thought we were having a "day date" after we entered the mall you had dropped your wallet and bent down to pick it up, I noticed you were wearing a thong. I realized then th...
I had a dream about you. You had a bottle made of smoky glass, which made the contents appear mysterious, and I had the last smoky exhalation of a dead smoker in a Ziploc bag. I offered to trade my sandwich for your drink, but you said, “No thanks,...
I had a dream about you. You were wearing a spaghetti strainer as a helmet, and I said, “I demand you take my fishbowl off your head at once.” But the truth is it didn’t matter, because my fish had dried up and died weeks ago. That’s kind of ...
I had a dream about you. You were selling nickels for seven cents apiece, and I was only willing to pay six. Grandma thought I was foolish, but what did I care—she was dead! It’s like my grandpa always used to say, “I want to bill Billings one ...
