Quotes by Dane Cook

About Dane Cook:

Dane Jeffrey Cook is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident. In 2006, Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum. He performed an HBO special in the Fall of 2006, Vicious Circle, a straight-to-DVD special titled Rough Around The Edges (which is included in the album of the same name), and a Comedy Central special in 2009 titled Isolated Incident. He is known for his use of observational, often vulgar, and sometimes dark comedy.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically.

Dane Cook

I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

Dane Cook

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

Dane Cook

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

Dane Cook

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Dane Cook

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

Dane Cook

When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.

Dane Cook

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

Dane Cook

I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.

Dane Cook

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

Dane Cook

I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.

Dane Cook

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

Dane Cook

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.

Dane Cook

I'm completely ecstatic when a woman has own back story and brings something to the table and has a real strong kind of independence.

Dane Cook

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

Dane Cook

When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'

Dane Cook

I believe in people getting what's coming to them but don't hold grudges either. We all hurt people, fail & hopefully grow from adversity. Basically, eat shit & thrive

Dane Cook

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

Dane Cook

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people sta...

Dane Cook

As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the sca...

Dane Cook

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

Dane Cook

Author Bio

  • NameDane Cook
  • DescriptionAmerican actor and comedian
  • BornMarch 18, 1972
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Voice Actor