Quotes by Craig Ferguson

About Craig Ferguson:

Craig Ferguson is a Scottish-born American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, producer and voice artist. He was the host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, an Emmy Award-nominated, Peabody Award-winning late-night talk show that aired on CBS from 2005 to 2014. Ferguson began hosting the syndicated Celebrity Name Game in September 2014.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

Craig Ferguson

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

Craig Ferguson

Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.

Craig Ferguson

The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.

Craig Ferguson

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

Craig Ferguson

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.

Craig Ferguson

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Craig Ferguson

Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama. You put all you're hope and all your dreams and all your ideas about stuff into one human being. They're a human being they're going to let you down....

Craig Ferguson

Craig: 'When I used to drink, I binge drank…and I’m kind of like that with Doctor Who. I save up a lot of it on the DVR and then like I get my big scarf on and my hat and I stay at home and just watch them.' Neil Gaiman: 'You watch them, you wake...

Craig Ferguson

That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.

Craig Ferguson

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Craig Ferguson

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

Craig Ferguson

It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Craig Ferguson

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!

Craig Ferguson

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you.

Craig Ferguson

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

Craig Ferguson

Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.

Craig Ferguson

Author Bio

  • NameCraig Ferguson
  • DescriptionScottish-born American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, author, producer and voice artist
  • BornMay 17, 1962
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Television Actor; Film Actor; Film Director; Television Presenter; Author; Novelist; Screenwriter