Quotes by Craig Ferguson

About Craig Ferguson:

Craig Ferguson is a Scottish-born American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, producer and voice artist. He was the host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, an Emmy Award-nominated, Peabody Award-winning late-night talk show that aired on CBS from 2005 to 2014. Ferguson began hosting the syndicated Celebrity Name Game in September 2014.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted.

Craig Ferguson

The clocks understood, they kept moving, motion, following the truth that change is the nature of God's mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.

Craig Ferguson

He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed p...

Craig Ferguson

Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often.

Craig Ferguson

The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those-maybe everyone-who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something-innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should nev...

Craig Ferguson

The Universe is very, very big. It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules. Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever. Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when s...

Craig Ferguson

Time is only linear for engineers and referees.

Craig Ferguson

It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for the very reason of solving problems such as theirs. However, there is one thing that the medical profession cannot do and that is save p...

Craig Ferguson

Hey dawg, wassup?" he said, in the strange way that white talent agents from Los Angeles do in an attempt to sound like young black men from underprivileged backgrounds. A linguistic fashion as peculiar as the lisp that everybody in medieval Spain ha...

Craig Ferguson

Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible i...

Craig Ferguson

For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say "Good morning, sir" or "madam," depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when th...

Craig Ferguson

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

Craig Ferguson

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.

Craig Ferguson

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

Craig Ferguson

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

Craig Ferguson

Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape.

Craig Ferguson

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

Craig Ferguson

Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drin...

Craig Ferguson

I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.

Craig Ferguson

I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

Craig Ferguson

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.

Craig Ferguson

Author Bio

  • NameCraig Ferguson
  • DescriptionScottish-born American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, author, producer and voice artist
  • BornMay 17, 1962
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Television Actor; Film Actor; Film Director; Television Presenter; Author; Novelist; Screenwriter