Quotes by Colin Quinn

About Colin Quinn:

Colin Quinn is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. On television, he is best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, where he anchored Weekend Update, on MTV's 1980's game show Remote Control, where he served as the announcer/sidekick, and as host of Comedy Central's late-night panel show Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Notable film work includes his role as Dickey Bailey in the Grown Ups films and co-starring as Amy Schumer's father in the film Trainwreck.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The races are like America's children. White people are the firstborn, so they were Dad's favorite. Black people are the second kids, the abused ones, so they still hate Dad. Latinos are the third, caught in the middle and always trying to make peace...

Colin Quinn

Thank God for immigrants. They're the only ones who have any personality left. They still allow themselves emotions, judgments, and all those qualities that we are "evolving" past. I don't know what they're saying, but I can tell they're speaking hon...

Colin Quinn

I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind it, but that doesn't matter.

Colin Quinn

A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who can make himself disappear isn't safe, who is?

Colin Quinn

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

Colin Quinn

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

Colin Quinn

I was a class clown.

Colin Quinn

That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.

Colin Quinn

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

Colin Quinn

Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.

Colin Quinn

For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

Colin Quinn

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

Colin Quinn

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.

Colin Quinn

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

Colin Quinn

Everybody's funny in different ways.

Colin Quinn

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

Colin Quinn

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

Colin Quinn

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

Colin Quinn

He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

Colin Quinn

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

Colin Quinn

Author Bio

  • NameColin Quinn
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • AliasesColin Edward Quinn
  • BornJune 6, 1959
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor