Quotes by Carroll Bryant

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

Carroll Bryant

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

Carroll Bryant

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

Carroll Bryant

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant

You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick.

Carroll Bryant

A sin is nothing more than regret. Not for doing it once, but doing it again when you know you’re going to regret it.

Carroll Bryant

You are the only one who can.

Carroll Bryant

Hope is believing in something that eludes you. It's a desperate feeling in a desperate situation.

Carroll Bryant

Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.

Carroll Bryant

I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction

Carroll Bryant

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.

Carroll Bryant

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?

Carroll Bryant

There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place

Carroll Bryant

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.

Carroll Bryant

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had wanted to meet the right girl, I would have drank...

Carroll Bryant

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

Carroll Bryant

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.

Carroll Bryant

I think a person can do one of two things in life ... make your own choices despite the past or let your past make your choices for you. Very few poeple go through life completely untouched by something bad. It's just up to the individual on how much...

Carroll Bryant

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

Carroll Bryant

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

Carroll Bryant

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender.

Carroll Bryant