The sight washed over me like a damn wave that you never see coming until it’s too late and you’re face down eating sand.
As I drove out the wrought iron gates I had entered, I noticed for the first time how intricate and beautiful they were. They were forged by hand so many years ago and had stood the test of time.
Do you remember the time, Mike,” Jeremy laughed, “that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.
Yes, I prosecute bastards like him, make them pay for what they did to innocent victims who can’t fight for themselves. And every time I win a case, I not only win for the victim, but also for me.
You deserve good sperm. You’ve waited a long time.
One day comes after another and another and pretty soon you realize that yesterday was pretty damn long ago and that everything you had hoped for is never going to happen. You can’t control it any more than you can control that big wave from gettin...
I’ll pray for good semen. And I’ll get all of my friends to pray for good semen.
I was just thinking that he might be willing. It’s not like he needs his semen.
A tweet a day keeps writer's block away.
The best kind of day is a writing day
Three words for a writer: Make me care.
I'm in love with writing, but sometimes I swear it hates me.
Sometimes the writing just comes and we're like, oh yeah. Gotta love when that happens.
Me to characters: talk to me people.
If I write as well as I golf, I'm in trouble!
Climax: It's all downhill from here.
Writer. Another word for poor.
The power of the delete key.
Caught red-handed for exclamation abuse.
It’s a great day to write a best-seller.
