Quotes by Billy Connolly

About Billy Connolly:

William "Billy" Connolly is a Scottish comedian, musician, presenter and actor. He is sometimes known, especially in his native Scotland, by the nickname "The Big Yin" ("The Big One"). His first trade, in the early 1960s, was as a welder (specifically a boilermaker) in the Glasgow shipyards, but he gave it up towards the end of the decade to pursue a career as a folk singer in The Humblebums alongside friend Gerry Rafferty until 1971 and subsequently as a soloist. In the early 1970s, he made the transition from folk-singer with a comedic persona to fully-fledged comedian. Best known to many as a stand up comedian, he appears in several lists of the greatest comedians ever.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

If you give people a chance, they shine.

Billy Connolly

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

Billy Connolly

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

Billy Connolly

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, you...

Billy Connolly

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

Billy Connolly

I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

Billy Connolly

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Billy Connolly

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

Billy Connolly

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

Billy Connolly

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

Billy Connolly

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.

Billy Connolly

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

Billy Connolly

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.

Billy Connolly

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Billy Connolly

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.

Billy Connolly

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

Billy Connolly

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

Billy Connolly

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Billy Connolly

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Billy Connolly

Author Bio

  • NameBilly Connolly
  • DescriptionBritish comedian
  • BornNovember 24, 1942
  • CountryUnited Kingdom
  • ProfessionActor; Comedian; Banjoist
  • AwardsCommander Of The Order Of The British Empire