About Bill Cosby: William Henry "Bill" Cosby Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and activist.
Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass.
Sometimes I buy my wife flowers.
I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along.
You come to my comedy show to be entertained.
What people are tired of, the people who agree with me, what they're tired of is listening to that sound, the sound of the people who've given up.
There should be more on television that uplifts people and shows them how to better prepare themselves for earning a living.
There are times my stories become - what I feel - not only accessible to hearing me on television, but they make wonderful reading.
When Bob Dylan was a beginning fellow, Len Chandler, a black singer-musician who played a 12-string guitar, was a friend of his.
Everybody is not a victim.
It was hard for me, being in school. And nobody was there to tell me how important it was.
If you have one of the worst schools in the city, then chances are the teachers are not going to care for you. Chances are the parents don't feel seriously about coming to meet with teachers.
When you don't understand something, you often laugh.
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.
I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences.
If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.
I use the exercise room early, because I don't want to get on the treadmill and everyone's going 'Oh, Bill Cosby,' and then they come around to see how fast I'm walking, and it becomes very competitive.
My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born.
There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein.
There's no tradition today except initials, 'CSI,' 'NCIS,' all the rest. Even with reruns today, people don't know there was a 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' or 'Andy Griffith,' or 'Cheers.'
I see Obama as Sisyphus in the first four years. And nobody would speak about the size of the rock, or the elevation of the hill. All you hear people talk about is what he didn't do.
Comedy Central is what these young people are viewing. The network speaks to their audience, which is saying, 'Give me fast jokes. Give me party stories and party language.'
