Quotes by Augusten Burroughs

About Augusten Burroughs:

Augusten Xon Burroughs is an American writer known for his New York Times bestselling memoir Running with Scissors (2002).
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I sit there and think how it isn't fair that I can't drink at all, even a little. I realize I have crammed an entire lifetime of moderate drinking into a decade of hard-core drinking and that is why. I blew my wad.

Augusten Burroughs

I want to feel calm and at ease. Like someone who lives in Half Moon Bay, California, and makes hummus from scratch. Instead, I feel like I'm a contestant on some awful supermarket game show where I've got sixty seconds to hurl my shopping cart down ...

Augusten Burroughs

And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.

Augusten Burroughs

I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.

Augusten Burroughs

Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I'm not anxious, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be so lonely...

Augusten Burroughs

His eyes are so clear and blue that nothing but clichés enter my mind.

Augusten Burroughs

His laugh is made of porch swings and lemonade.

Augusten Burroughs

The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work.

Augusten Burroughs

Smoking had become my favorite thing in the world to do. It was like having instant comfort, no matter where or when.

Augusten Burroughs

My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl.

Augusten Burroughs

The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was. It was nothing but a holding tank for kids without bigger plans or ideas.

Augusten Burroughs

I confidently walked up to the counter, and his friends moved to the side to let me through. I handed him the note. "Happy Birthday," I said. Then I smiled and walked out of the store. I did my crossing-the street trick again, lurking in the shadows ...

Augusten Burroughs

I liked his attention. But I also felt like there was something sick and wrong about it. Like it might make me sick later. I thought of my grandmother, my father's mother. How when I used to visit her in Georgia she would always let me eat all the co...

Augusten Burroughs

It's a wonder I'm even alive. Sometimes I think that. I think that I can't believe I haven't killed myself. But there's something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with tomorrow, that there always is one, and that everyth...

Augusten Burroughs

Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth

Augusten Burroughs

I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she might make a great new friend. The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin.

Augusten Burroughs

Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small that smells sweet and chemical. It makes me sad because it's the smell she makes when she's leaving.

Augusten Burroughs

Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the ...

Augusten Burroughs

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

Augusten Burroughs

Even painfully shy and awkward people are not painfully shy or awkward when they are alone. The way to access this natural, comfortable alone-self when you are with others is by choosing to forbid yourself to wonder what "they" are thinking. Instead,...

Augusten Burroughs

Author Bio

  • NameAugusten Burroughs
  • DescriptionAmerican writer
  • BornOctober 23, 1965
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionWriter; Journalist; Novelist
  • WorksRunning With Scissors
  • AwardsLambda Literary Award