About Artie Lange: Arthur Steven "Artie" Lange, Jr. is an American actor, comedian, radio personality, and author, best known for being part of The Howard Stern Show and the television sketch comedy series Mad TV.
Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're al...
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what I'm saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to ...
I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.
I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.
I got cast on 'MADtv' as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who'd been screened. For any comic trying to make something of themselves, that was like hitting triple 7s-jackpot.
I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.
I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.
I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.
When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week...
It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out a way to do it on stage.
When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that comedians, like, comedians talk about hacks, and what a hack is, is someone who does stuff that's not original.
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.
You haven’t lived till you’ve played Scrabble in a psych ward.
I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.
