[George takes a corner far too fast, tossing everyone in the car from side to side. Pause] Martha: Aren't you going to apologize? George: Not my fault, the road should've been straight. Martha: No, aren't you going to apologize for making Honey throw...
George: Martha's got money because Martha's father's second wife, not Martha's mother but after Martha's mother died, was a very old lady with warts who was very rich. Nick: She was a witch! George: She was a good witch, and she married the white mou...
Honey: I dance like the wind.
George: All I said was that our son, the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops, our son is a beanbag, and you get testy!
George: Martha, in my mind you're buried in cement right up to the neck. No, up to the nose, it's much quieter.
Nick: To you, everybody's a flop. Your husband's a flop, I'm a flop. Martha: You're all flops. I am the Earth Mother, and you are all flops.
George: So you get testy, naturally, don't worry about it! Anybody who comes here ends up getting testy, it's expected. Don't be upset. Nick: I'm not upset. George: You're testy. Nick: Yes.
George: Martha, will you show her where we keep the, uh, euphemism?
George: You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realize that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to ...
George: You're a monster - You are. Martha: I'm loud and I'm vulgar, and I wear the pants in the house because somebody's got to, but I am not a monster. I'm not. George: You're a spoiled, self-indulgent, willful, dirty-minded, liquor-ridden... Marth...
George: And that's how you play "Get the Guests".
George: Good. Better. Best. Bested.
Honey: I'm gonna be sick. George: Ah yeah that's nice. Honey: I'm gonna die. George: Good, good. Go right ahead.
George: Now that's it! You can take over a few classes from the older men, but until you start plowing pertinent wives, you really aren't working. The broad, inviting avenue to man's job is through his wife, and don't you forget it. Nick: And I'll be...
Nick: May I use the... uh... bar? George: Oh, yes... yes... by all means. Drink away... you'll need it as the years go on.
George: I'm very impressed. Martha: You're damn right. George: I said I was impressed. I'm beside myself with jealousy. What do you want me to do, throw up?
Nick: [to Honey] We'll go in a little while. George: Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being...
George: Did you really think I was going to kill you, Martha? Martha: You, kill me? That's a laugh. George: Well now, I might some day. Martha: Fat chance.
