Captain Hadley: So this big shot lawyer calls me long distance from Texas. I say "Yeah?" He says, "Sorry to inform you, but your brother just died."
Guard Mert: Oh damn, Byron, I'm sorry to hear that.
Captain Hadley: I'm not, he was an asshole. Ran off years ago. Figured him dead for anyway. So anyway this lawyer fellow says to me: "Your brother died a rich man." Oil wells and shit. Close to a million bucks.
[$9,670,083 in 2014 dollars]
Guard Mert: A million bucks?
Captain Hadley: Yeah, fuckin' incredible how lucky some assholes get.
Guard Mert: Gees louise, you gonna see any of that?
Captain Hadley: Thirty-five thousand.
[$338,453 in 2014]
Captain Hadley: That's what he left me.
Guard Mert: Holy shit, that's great! That's like winning the sweepstakes.
[Hadley gives him a look]
Guard Mert: Isn't it?
Captain Hadley: Dumb shit, what do you think the government's gonna do to me? Take a big wet bite out of my ass is what.