Royal: [outside the hospital, having been refused in to visit Richie] We could shimmy up that gutter, jump over that window ledge, and then pry open that ventilator shaft. Pagoda: [points] There he is. [they see Richie getting onto a bus]
Eli: [immediately after landing in the front room after crashing his car into the house] Where's my shoe? [on cue, Dudley retrieves his shoe]
Margot: You probably don't even know my middle name. Royal: That's a trick question. You don't have one. Margot: Helen. Royal: That was my mother's name. Margot: I know it was.
Peter Bradley: [interviewing Eli Cash on television] Now, your previous novel... Eli: Yes, Wildcat. Peter Bradley: Not a success. Why? Eli: Well... Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular... [long pause as he starts to become spaced out]...
[Chas has told Royal to get out of the house. As Royal gets up to leave he suddenly seems to suffer some kind of 'attack' and falls to the floor] Chas: Are you OK? Royal: [with a wooden spoon between his teeth] 'Fuck do you care?
Royal: Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.
Young Richie Tenenbaum: Go Mordecai!
Henry Sherman: I just wanted to apologize for the other day, when I proposed to you. Ethel: Why? I thought it was very sweet.
Royal: Chas has those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel. Ethel: He has his reasons. Royal: Oh, I know that, but you can't raise boys to be scared of life. You gotta brew some recklessness into them. Ethel: I think that's terrible advic...
Royal: [seeing Ethel with Henry for the first time] Look at that old grizzly bear.
Ethel: Royal, this is Henry Sherman. Royal: [shaking hands with him] Hey, lay it on me, man. Henry Sherman: How do you do? Royal: Not too well, I'm dying.
Ethel: [about Royal's fake terminal illness charade] Were you part of this, Pagoda? Henry Sherman: Of course he was. Royal: No... well, yeah, he was, but, I mean, he wasn't *that* involved.
Richie: Read it back to me so far, Pietro. Cote d'Ivoire Radio Operator: [speaks with an Italian accent, his words are shown in subtitles] "Dear Eli, I'm in the middle of the ocean. I haven't left my room in four days. I've never been more lonely in ...
[During a war game with BB guns] Royal: [on top of a roof, aiming at Chas] Hold it Chassie. Hold it right there. Young Chas Tenenbaum: What are you doing? You're on my team! Royal: Ha-ha! There are no teams! [he shoots at Chas, hitting his hand. Chas...
Richie: And I heard about Eli. Margot: I know. Poor Eli. Anyway, we mostly just talked about you. Richie: You did? Margot: Yeah. I guess that was the attraction, if you know what I mean.
