Grandpa: [reading to his grandson] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.
Westley: [planning a strategy] Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak. Inigo Montoya: There, we cannot help you. Fezzik: [produces a holocaust cloak] Will this do? Inigo Montoya: Where did you get that? Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fits so ni...
Inigo Montoya: [pushing his way through a crowd] Excuse me... Pardon me, please, it's important... Fezzik, please? Fezzik: EVERYBODY MOVE! [everybody clears a path] Inigo Montoya: Thank you.
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone. Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition. Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl. Vizzini: Am I...
Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had? Fezzik: Over the albino, I think. Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
Inigo Montoya: My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done. [Shows the Man in Bla...
Inigo Montoya: But this is Buttercup's true love - If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding. Miracle Max: Wait. Wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers? Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore! Miracle Max: That is a noble cause. Give me t...
Westley: Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will i...
Buttercup: Westley. Oh, Westley darling! [Buttercup kisses Westley passionately] Buttercup: Westley, why won't you hold me? Westley: Gently. Buttercup: At a time like this, that's all you can think to say. Gently? [Buttercup continues kissing Westley...
Grandpa: She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time. The Grandson: What? Grandpa: The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you look nervous. The Grandson: I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit concerned, but that's not the same...
Fezzik: You just shook your head... doesn't that make you happy? Westley: My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head-jiggle is supposed to make me happy?
Vizzini: Jump in after her! Inigo Montoya: I don't swim Fezzik: I only dog paddle. Vizzini: AGGHH!
Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby? Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles. Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream.
Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow us? Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosi...
Inigo Montoya: Hello there. Slow going? Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me. Inigo Montoya: [apologetic] Sorry. Man in Black: Thank you.
Man in Black: I challenge you to a battle of wits. Vizzini: For the Princess? Man in Black: [nods] Vizzini: To the death? Man in Black: [nods] Vizzini: I accept!
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone. Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people? Fezzik...
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years? Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut an...