Fozziwig: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas." Jacob Marley: That was the speech? Robert Marley: It was dumb! Jacob Marley: It was obvious! Robert Marley: It was pointless! Jacob Marley: It was... short! ...
Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: "Never eat singing food."
[an urchin steals a talking vegetable] Vegetable: Hey, I'm being stolen! Hey, help me! Help me!
Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them. Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you. Rizzo the Rat: God save my little broken body! [Jumps and falls to the ground. He looks at Gonzo] Gonzo: Missed. Ri...
Sam the Eagle: Tomorrow, you become a man of business! Young Scrooge: I'm looking forward to it, Headmaster. Sam the Eagle: Mm, you will love business. It is the AMERICAN WAY! Gonzo: [whispers] Sam... [whispers in Sam's ear] Sam the Eagle: Oh... It i...
Robert Marley: We were always heckling you. Jacob Marley: It's good to be heckling again. Robert Marley: It's good to be doing anything again.
Kermit the Frog: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire? Rat #1: We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles! Rat #2: Our assets are frozen!...
Ebenezer Scrooge: Bob Cratchit, I've had my fill of this. Miss Piggy: And I have had my fill of you, Mr. Scrooge. Ebenezer Scrooge: And therefore, Bob Cratchit... Miss Piggy: And therefore, you can leave this house at once. Ebenezer Scrooge: And ther...
Rizzo the Rat: [a nearby clock strikes the hour] Oh, what was that? Gonzo: Two o'clock. Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast? Gonzo: Yes. Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!
Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience? Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!
Vegetables: If he became a flavor you can bet he would be sour. Yuck! Muppet Man: Even the vegetables don't like him!
[Gonzo and Rizzo are flying over London] Gonzo: [Thrilled] Hello, London! Rizzo the Rat: [Scared] Goodbye, lunch!
Jacob Marley: Why do you doubt your senses? Ebenezer Scrooge: Because a little thing can effect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes. There's more g...
Gonzo: My name is Charles Dickens. Rizzo the Rat: And my name is Rizzo the Rat... wait a second! You're not Charles Dickens! Gonzo: I am too! Rizzo the Rat: No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat? Gonzo: Absolutely! Rizzo the Rat: ...
Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough. Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough. Rizzo the Rat: He's got 'im there. The old boy's speechless! Ebenezer Scrooge: If I could work my will, every idiot who...
Sam the Eagle: Work hard, lad, and one day, your life will be as solid as this very building! [the shelf collapses behind him] Sam the Eagle: Huh. I've been meaning to fix that shelf!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.
[Scrooge has met the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come] Rizzo the Rat: Oh, this is too scary. I don't think I wanna see any more! Gonzo: When you're right, you're right. [turning to face the audience] Gonzo: You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at ...
