Doc: He left me his c-c-c... He left me his c-c-c... Oh, he fucking gave me this. Fuck! Ass!
[after dropping through the ceiling on a rope and killing nine mobsters] Connor: Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking rope for." Murphy: That was way easier than I thought. Connor: Aye. Murphy: You know, on TV you always got th...
Paul Smecker: Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do...
Connor: [during job training for an avid feminist] The rule of thumb here is... Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb. Connor: Can't do mu...
[the two brothers are in an airshaft and getting a bit uncomfortable] Murphy: Where the fuck are you going? Connor: Shhh. I'm figuring some shit out here. Murphy: Ahh, fuck you! I'm sweatin' my ass off draggin' your fuckin' rope around. Must weigh th...
Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch. Donna: God. Rayvie: What? Donna: Why? Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
Paul Smecker: So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?
Rocco: Anybody *you* think is evil? Connor: Aye. Rocco: Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho? Connor: D'you know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They go home every day after work and they turn on t...
Connor: How far are we gonna take this, Da? Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?
Paul Smecker: Oh, isn't that beautiful? All the lowlifes in quiet city Boston start dropping dead and *you* think it's unrelated! Greenly, the day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!
Paul Smecker: [Agent Smecker walks up to the first crime scene, where Chekov and his partner lay dead] Brilliant. So now we got a huge guy theory, and a serial crusher theory. Top notch. What's your name? Detective Greenly: Detective Greenly. Who the...
Paul Smecker: Now, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing. [He proceeds to riverdance]
Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.
Connor: Destroy all that which is evil. Murphy: So that which is good may flourish.
Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you wanna beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em,...
Donna: You killed my... my... Rocco: Your what? Donna: My... Rocco: Your fuckin' what? Huh? Your what, bitch? Rocco: [puts gun to his own head] I'll shoot myself in the head, you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious, little...
Il Duce: When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who hate me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.
Yakavetta: You insignifi-CUNT, little fuck!
