Ray: Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?
Gruppenfuehrer: [to Head Nazi, as they plummet off the bridge] I've always loved you.
Jake: That Night Train's a mean wine.
Curtis: Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.
[Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested] Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. [looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen] Corrections Officer: One so...
Curtis: Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he's got to say. Jake: Curtis, I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to ...
[while they are driving around in the shopping mall with 2 police cars on their tail] Elwood: Baby clothes... Jake: This place has got everything.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you "Don't get riled, sugar" me! You ain't goin' back on the road no more, and you ain't playin' them ol' two-bit sleazy dives. You're livin' with me now, and you not gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends. Matt M...
Elwood: [after crashing the Bluesmobile in a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza! Jake: That's where they got that Picasso. Elwood: Yep.
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over. [he drives the Bluesmobile off the road, right through a guardrail]
Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS. Jake: SCMODS? Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.
Mr. Fabulous: It's a fucking barn. We'll never fill it.
Elwood: This is glue. Strong stuff.
Elwood: [deleted scene] Boss, I need to tell you that I gotta quit. Elwood's Boss: Why Elwood? Elwood: I'm going to become a priest.
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-ass monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad in Joliet. Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes, sucker. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.
[Trying to get Mr. Fabulous back into the band] Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week. [Elwood takes a huge, obnoxious bite out of his bread] Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I'll play. You g...
[the Good Ole Boys arrive late] Jake: My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits. Tucker McElroy: Our what? Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please? ...
