Sean Tuohy: Who would've thought we'd have a black son before we met a Democrat?
Leigh Anne Touhy: Who died and made him Bear Bryant?
Leigh Anne Touhy: We have been here for an hour, and all I see is people shooting the bull and drinking coffee. I want to know who runs this joint? [the welfare worker points to a picture of George W. Bush]
S.J. Tuohy: [Diagramming an American Football play with cylindrical containers from a spice rack on the Dining Room table] Now, I will be the Running Back... and you show me what you are supposed to do. Ready? Hike. You will block him, he will hit hi...
Leigh Anne Touhy: I don't want to name names but one of the coaches took him to a titty bar. Gave him nightmares.
Leigh Anne Touhy: Well, alright then.
