Doyle: To call the police, you push 911 then just tell 'em to bring an ambulance, or a "hearst" if you're gonna kill me.
Charles Bushman: There was a young man by the name of John Leggit Hunter who ran a filling station business, a good filling station business and he's one of these young men we all come across in life, I'm sure you've come across 'em, who did not dese...
Mrs. Woolridge: Karl, I hear Jerry's taking you somewhere else tomorrow. Karl: I don't reckon I know nobody named Jerry. Dr. Jerry Woolridge: She's talking about me, Karl, that's my first name. Karl: He's carrying me to look for work over in Millsbur...
Doyle: Hey! I said get out of my house! That goes for cocksuckers and retards!
Linda: This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house and I decide who goes and who stays. You got a house, why don't you get some of your girlfriends and go home to it? Doyle: You know better than to talk to me like that when I'm hurtin', Linda. Do...
Doyle: You know what, by God? Linda: What? Doyle: I know what I oughta do tonight. Linda: Please don't. Doyle: Mmm-hmm. I'm gonna call up Morris and have him get the band together. We're gonna have a party. Party our asses off. I'd love to show them ...
Vaughan Cunningham: Please don't tell anybody at the store that Albert was here. You know how this town is. Everybody spreads cruel rumors. Melinda: You mean about you and Albert being that way...? I think everybody at the store already knows about i...
Doyle: Hey, Vaughan, I heard you been putting it on ol' Albert Sellers who works over at the funeral home. Vaughan Cunningham: I know Albert. We're friends. Doyle: No, I heard you're more than friends. I heard Dick Rivers come in there and caught the...
Dr. Jerry Woolridge: You sleep with your mama tonight. I'm gonna sleep with your brother so Karl can have your room. Daughter: Why? Dr. Jerry Woolridge: 'Cause he's company.
Vaughan Cunningham: Listen, everyone, I've had a few glasses of wine and that tends to make me emotional. It came over me in a rush. I just want you to know that I care about each and every person at this table. Linda: Thank you, Vaughan. We care abo...
Marsha Dwiggins: Where will he go? Dr. Jerry Woolridge: I think he's going back to Millsburg. Marsha Dwiggins: Will he be supervised? Dr. Jerry Woolridge: About as much as everyone else, I guess.
Frank Childers: I'd kick your head in 25 years ago, but you're dead, I guess. Where'd you go to?
Vaughan Cunningham: [about potted meat] They aren't moving too well, but I'll tell you what, I'll give a couple cans free to the right kid. Frank: I don't like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intestines. Linda: F...
Linda Wheatley: Karl, you know what? Melinda here was voted employee of the month at the dollar store last February. Isn't that something? Karl: Yes ma'am, I reckon. Melinda: Well, when you like pricing items as much as I do, it's just bound to happe...
Charles Bushman: You gotta make something explode to really understand it. You gotta examine all those tiny particles while they're still on fire.
Vaughan Cunningham: I don't understand. Morris: Exactly the point, my young level-headed friend. Vaughan Cunningham: I don't get it. Morris: Well, I rest my case.
Charles Bushman: A shovel just makes too goddamned much racket.
