Vaughan: Have you knocked on the door yet? Karl: No, Sir, not yet. Vaughan: How long have you been standing here? Karl: Quite a spell, I reckon.
Frank: I'd like to kill that son-of-a-bitch. I hate him. Karl: You ought not talk that way. You just a boy.
Doyle: Hey is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that, 'cause I'm gonna have a hard time eatin' 'round that kind of thing now. Just like I am with antique furniture and midgets. You know that, I can't so much as dri...
Linda Wheatley: I'm gonna make some coffee. Karl, you want some coffee? Karl: Coffee makes me nervous when I drink it. Mmm.
Doyle: What am I supposed to do about supper while you're out runnin' around with that fag? Linda: You're not crippled, get in there and make it yourself. Doyle: Talkin' back and everything. That kinda makes me horny, Linda. Linda: Frank, maybe you b...
Doyle: Linda, go get my guitar. It's out there with that looney toon.
Charles Bushman: Now... On the third day, I washed her. She wasn't too clean. I got all the right spots. She's the only one I kept for a certain amount of time, because I got a real short attention span. Now, I can't say she enjoyed her stay, but tha...
Doyle: Frank's a weak little kid. His daddy taught him how to be a pussy. Frank: Stop it, Doyle! Don't talk about my daddy. Doyle: "Don't talk about my daddy". Go on and get up outta here. Go out to the garage and let me be. Go on now, get!
Neighbor: I wish you'd all lay off for tonight! I can't hear myself think with that racket! Doyle: Hey! HEY! Neighbor: Knock it off or I'm calling the police! Doyle: I told you three times already, the law's on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut...
Doyle: [Karl enters the bedroom, startling Doyle and Linda] Hey! What the God damn hell you doing, Karl? 'The fuck you doing up in the middle of the night? Linda: What you want, Hon? Karl: I wanna be baptized. Doyle: Well get baptized then, I don't g...
[Karl has entered the bedroom carrying a hammer] Doyle: What in the hell you doin' with that hammer? Karl: I don't rightly know. I just kinda woke up a-holding it. [exits] Doyle: [to Linda] What the fuck you think he's doin' with that hammer?
Doyle: Your buddy Karl here is going. We can't be no normal family with him living in the garage and comin' in the damn bedroom at 4:00 in the morning, carryin' hammers and shit.
Doyle: I don't like homosexuals and she goes out and buddies up with one so I gotta deal with that. I don't like little wimpy-ass kids or mental retards and she got one of each livin' with her. [laughs] Doyle: I'm just kidding about that really.
Bill Cox: Hey, Scooter, did I tell you the one about the two ol' boys pissing off a bridge? Scooter: I don't believe you did. Bill Cox: Well, there were these two ol' boys and they hung their peckers off a bridge to piss. One ol' boy from California,...
Doyle: Believe in the Bible, do ya Karl? Karl: I don't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it. Doyle: Well I can't understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone says s...
Karl: There was a boy. We made friends. Charles Bushman: Ha ha, I'll bet you did. 'Course I was never bent that way, I was always bent the other way.
Linda: Frank's always after a father figure and Lord knows Doyle ain't one with his mean ass. Vaughan Cunningham: What about me? Linda: Frank doesn't really see you as a guy-guy. Vaughan Cunningham: Oh, and Karl's a guy-guy?
Doyle: I don't mean to be so damned... well, assholish I guess would be the word.
