Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Scott Pilgrim: I know you play mysterious and aloof just to avoid getting hurt. And I know you have reasons for not wanting talk about your past. I want you to know that I don't care about any of that stuff. Because I'm in lesbians with you.
Ramona V. Flowers: This is good garlic bread. Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping. Ramona V. Flowers: Then you'd get fat. Scott Pil...
Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word. Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian? Wallace Wells: The other L-word. Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
Ramona V. Flowers: What kind of tea do you want? Scott Pilgrim: There's more than one kind? Ramona V. Flowers: We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger...
Gideon Gordon Graves: You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!
Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone. Todd Ingram: Ve-gone?
Stacey Pilgrim: [Scott has just broken up with Ramona] Did you really see a future with this girl? Scott Pilgrim: Like... with jet-packs?
Scott Pilgrim: I have to go pee due to boredom.
Roxy Richter: Your BF's about to get eff'd in the b!
Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you. [Several minutes later] Scott Pilgrim: I said lesbians...
Wallace Wells: [to Scott] Everything does suck. [phone rings] Wallace Wells: Or does it? [picks up the phone] Wallace Wells: Hello? Oh, hey Knives. What's that? You're outside? [Scott stands up quickly] Knives Chau: [Knives knocks on the front door] ...
Computer: You've got mail. Scott Pilgrim: [Turns To Wallace] Dude, this thing claims I have mail. Wallace Wells: [groggily] It's amazing what we can do with computers these days. Scott Pilgrim: [Turns back] Dude, now I'm totally reading it. Wallace W...
Knives Chau: What do you play? Young Neil: Wow, ummm... Zelda... Tetris... that's kind of a big question.
Wallace Wells: Hey Jimmy do they rock or suck? Jimmy: They have not started playing yet... Wallace Wells: That was a test Jimmy, and you passed.
Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends. Scott Pilgrim: It's seven. Stacey Pilgrim: Oh, well, that's not that bad.
Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
