Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you? Neal: Yes. Car Rental Agent: How may I help you? Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: ...
Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you...
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel] Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear? Del: Why are you holding my hand? Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand? Del: Between two pillows... Neal: Those aren't pillows! [they both leap out of bed, sc...
Del: You play with your balls a lot. Neal: I do NOT play with my balls. Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour! Neal: Are you trying to start a fight? Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fid...
[another driver is trying to alert them that they're driving on the wrong side of the highway] Neal: He says we're going the wrong way... Del: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?
Neal: [Comes back to Chicago rail station to find Del sitting alone] Del, what are you doing here? You said you were going home, what are you doing here? Del: I uh... I don't have a home. Marie's been dead for eight years.
[at breakfast Neal finds his wallet empty and gives Del a mean look] Del: What? Neal: You know goddamn well what! Del: I'm sorry I don't Neal: I had over 700 dollars in here. Del: I didn't touch your dough Neal. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a thie...
Neal: What's the flight situation? Del: Simple. There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak. Neal: I guess we...
Del: If they told you wolverines would make good house pets, would you believe them?
Del: When I'm dead and buried, all I'll leave behind are some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. Some legacy, huh? Neal: At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you? Del: Lo...
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here? Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time. State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going? Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. ...
Neal: Eh, look, I don't want to be rude, but I'm not much of a conversationalist, and I really want to finish this article, a friend of mine wrote it, so... Del: Don't let me stand in your way, please don't let me stand in your way. The last thing I ...
Cab Dispatcher: Where are you going? Neal: Chicago. Cab Dispatcher: Chicago? Neal: Yeah, Chicago. Cab Dispatcher: You know you're in St. Louis? Neal: Yes I do. Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal. Neal:...
Del: How do you turn this thing off? [lightbulb breaks] Del: Ouch!
Del: I know you don't I? I'm usually very good with names but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours. Neal: You stole my cab. Del: I never stole anything in my life. Neal: I hailed a cab on park avenue this afternoon and before I could get in it...
Neal: Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual. Del: Unique... what's that, Latin for "asshole"?
Neal: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is? Del: One.
Del: Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I'm done on this side. I'm afraid to look at my ass. There'll be griddle marks.
