Trapper John: [after practicing golf shots on heli-pad with Hawkeye, a pilot along with Vollmer comes to talk to him] Lieutenant! You look terrible! Look at... Captain look at his eyes. Let me see your tongue.
[inserts cigar as thermometer]
Trapper John: Oh no, no, here take your shirt off and tell me where it hurts. I haven't seen a case like this since I was in school, oh my goodness. Listen, Vollmer, tell them to prepare for major surgery, this is one case in five, I think I can save you Lieutenant.
[handing lieutenant golf balls]
Trapper John: Lieutenant, I think I can save you. Look, take one of these every half hour, now get into your helicopter, and button up your shirt for crying out loud! You're in a military army!