Phil Parma: [making an order over the phone] I'd like to get an order of peanut butter, umm, uh, cigarettes, Camel Light, uhh, water... Pink Dot Girl: Bottled water? Phil Parma: No. You know what, forget the water. Just give me a loaf of bread. White...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick. Thurston Howell: Stay that way.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?
Frank T.J. Mackey: In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video...
Jimmy Gator: "Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... i...
Claudia Wilson Gator: You don't know how fucking stupid I am. Jim Kurring: It's okay. Claudia Wilson Gator: You don't know how *crazy* I am. Jim Kurring: It's okay. Claudia Wilson Gator: I got troubles, okay? Jim Kurring: I'll take everything at face...
Alan Kligman, Esq.: Linda, stop. Now you take a moment, you breathe, and one thing at a time. Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up. Alan Kligman, Esq.: You know what would help you, Linda? Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Alan Kligma...
Jim Kurring: Now, some neighbors claimed they heard screaming and a loud crash. Marcie: I don't even know no loud crash.
Gwenovier: So where are you from originally? Frank T.J. Mackey: Around here. Gwenovier: The Valley? Frank T.J. Mackey: Hollywood, mainly. Gwenovier: What did your parents do? Frank T.J. Mackey: My father was in television. My mother... This is going ...
[Claudia kisses Jim] Claudia Wilson Gator: I wanted to do that. Jim Kurring: Well... Claudia Wilson Gator: That felt good to do - to do what I wanted to do.
Jim Kurring: Let me tell you something, this is not an easy job. I get a call on the radio, dispatch, it's bad news. And it stinks. But this is my job and I love it. Because I want to do well - in this life and in this world, I want to do well. And I...
Avi Solomon: Donnie, you got struck by lightning last summer you were on vacation in Tahoe, I don't think braces is a good idea.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I need braces.
Rose Gator: Say it, Jimmy. Jimmy Gator: I think she thinks... that I may have... molested her. She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head... that I may have done. She said that to me last time, when it was... ten years ago, she walked ...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Have you ever been struck by lightning? It hurts.
Jim Kurring: ...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, b...
Jim Kurring: Now calm yourself down. Marcie: [shouts] I am calm! Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone ...
Burt Ramsey: You smell like trouble. Jimmy Gator: I'm fucking hammered, Burt.
