Sophia Barros: [in Portuguese] Oh God - Say 'yes' you skinny moron!
Sam: By the way, I feel bad. I never asked you how your love life is going. Daniel: [mock chuckles] No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, yo...
Stacey, American Dreamgirl: [points to beer bottle] What do you call that? Colin: Uh, Bottle. Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [giggling, mimicking accent] BOHT-el! Jeannie, American Angel: [points ...
Jamie: It's lovely-lovely to see you all... and, er... I'm off, actually. Jamie's mum: But, Jamie, darling! Jamie: Sorry. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Jamie's niece: I HATE Uncle Jamie!
Daniel: And her name's Joanna? Sam: Yeah, I know, just like Mum. Spooky. Daniel: Well, in one way then, we're in luck. At least we still have the god-like genius of Scott Walker. [he puts Scott Walker's "Joanna" on the stereo, and they lip-sync to it...
Sam: Daniel, I have a plan! Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me. Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they? Daniel: Uh-huh. Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends. Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sak...
Eleonore: This year you bring a lady guest? Jamie: Ah, no. There's a change of situation. It's just me. Eleonore: Oh, am I sad or not sad? Jamie: Uh, I think you're not surprised.
Jamie: "Grandi," uh... grande familio. Grande traditsione- The Christmas presents. Stupido.
[Jamie has just proposed to Aurelia] Aurelia: Thank you. That will be nice. Yes is being my answer. Easy question.
[John is rehearsing a raunchy sex scene with his hands on Judy's breasts] John: It's Junction 13 that's just murder, isn't it? Total gridlock this morning.
Tony: You'll come back a broken man. Colin: Yeah, back broken from too much sex!
Peter: Who is it? [Mark's sign reads "say it's carol singers"] Juliet: It's carol singers. Peter: Well, give them a quid and tell them to bugger off!
Daniel: You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til it's over.
Colin: I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.
Daniel: I'm afraid that there's somethin' really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know. Karen: At the age of eleven? Daniel: Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then. ...
Prime Minister: I'd like to go to Wandsworth; the dodgy end. PM's chauffeur, Terry: Very good, sir. [they drive to Wandsworth] PM's chauffeur, Terry: Harris Street. What number, sir? Prime Minister: Oh, God. It's the longest street in the world, and ...
Daniel: [knocks on Sam's door] Sam, time for dinner. Sam: I'm not hungry. Daniel: Sam... I've done chicken kebabs! Sam: Look at the sign on the door. [he starts practising his drums; Daniel leans back and looks at the sign, which says, "I SAID - I'M ...
Prime Minister: Hello, does Natalie live here? Harris Street little girl: No, she doesn't. Prime Minister: Oh, dear. Okay. Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols? Prime Minister: Uh, no. No I'm not. Her friend: Please, sir, please? Her fri...
