Madame Thénardier: [to male customer] I used to dream that I would meet a prince, but God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Thénardier: [defensive as others stare at him] What? What?
Madame Thénardier: Master of the house isn't worth my spit. Comforter, philosopher, and life-long shit. Cunning little brain; regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there.
[All stare at his crotch]
Madame Thénardier: [pretending to cry] What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse.
[She takes the man's purse while he's distracted]
Madame Thénardier: [suddenly cheering up] God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!