Rob: [pauses] Is that Peter fucking Frampton?
Laura: All I'm saying is, you have to allow for things to happen to people, but most of all to yourself. And you don't Bob, so what's the use?
Rob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians. Laura: No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records. Rob: Made. Made. Marvin Gaye is dead. His...
Barry: Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater. [Imitating Cosby] Barry: A Cosssssssby sweater. Did Laura let you leave the house like that?
Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that? Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian... Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry. Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.
Barry: Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?
Rob: [lying in bed imagining the scene] You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better se...
Rob: Where's Ian? Or Ray, or... what is his fucking name, anyway? What do you call him, Ian or Ray? Laura: Ray. I hate Ian. Rob: I hate him too. Laura: Yeah... I'm sure.
Rob: What, fucking, Ian guy?
Barry: Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey.
Rob: John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies.
Laura: [preparing to have sex with Rob in a car] I knew there was a reason I wore a skirt today.
Rob: My desert island, all-time, top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name...
Rob: I could've wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn't be sleeping with a person, you'd be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture...
Rob: Why'd you have to tell her about the store? Barry: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy [smacks Rob]
Rob: Marvin Gaye. Laura: I know. Rob: Let's get it on. That's our song. Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship. Laura: Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him then.
[Liz storms in] Rob: Hey, Liz. Liz: [calm] Hi, Rob... [screams] Liz: You fucking asshole! [beat, Liz walks out the store, Barry's in the corner, stares] Liz: Hi, Barry.
Rob: I lost it. I lost it all- faith, dignity... about 15 pounds.
