Rita: What did you do today? Phil: Oh, same-old same-old.
Gus: Phil? Like the groundhog Phil? Phil: Yeah, like the groundhog Phil. Gus: Look out for your shadow there, buddy. Phil: Morons, your bus is leaving.
Phil: Something is... different. Rita: Good or bad? Phil: Anything different is good.
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life. Phil: Mine too. Rita: Mine too. Ned: Where are we going? Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!
Phil: Hey commander, what's going on? State Trooper: There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in. Phil: What blizzard? It's a couple of flakes. State Trooper: Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here. Ph...
Mrs. Lancaster: [on the first day] Will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors? Phil: [snidely] Chance of departure today: one hundred percent!
Mrs. Lancaster: [on the second day] Will you be checking out today, Mr. Connors? Phil: [hesitantly] Change of departure today:... Eighty percent?... seventy-five/eighty?
Rita: You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking.
Nurse: Sometimes, people just die. Phil: Not today.
Rita: You're missin' all the fun! These people are great! Some of them have been partyin' all night long! They sing songs 'till they get too cold and then they go sit by the fire and they get warm, and then they come back and sing some more! Phil: Ye...
[to Nancy, about being a photojournalist] Larry: People just don't understand what is involved in this. This an art-form! You know, I think that most people just think that I hold a camera and point at stuff, but there is a *heck* of a lot more to it...
Phil: For your information, Hairdo, there is a major network interested in me. Larry: Yeah, that would be the Home Shopping Network.
Rita: Are you drunk or something? Phil: Drunk is more fun.
[repeated line] Diner Patron: Just put that anywhere, pal! Yeah! Good save!
Buster Green: If you gotta shoot, aim high. I don't wanna hit the groundhog.
Phil: I don't suppose there's any chance of a espresso or cappuccino? Mrs. Lancaster: [confused look] Oh, I don't know... Phil: [turns away, to self] ... how to /spell/ espresso or cappuccino.
Rita: Why would anybody steal a groundhog? Larry: I can probably think of a couple of reasons... pervert.
Phil: Nancy: she works in the dress shop and makes noises like a chipmunk when she gets *real* excited. Nancy: Hey! Phil: It's true.
