Olivia: Could we move the crime scene into the kitchen?
Andrew Largeman: I'll be fine. Am I the first boy you've ever brought home? Sam: No, but I lied to you before when I told you that my boyfriend drives a Ninja. Andrew Largeman: He doesn't drive a bike? Sam: No, I don't have a boyfriend. But, you know...
Olivia: [yelling at dogs] Alright! Everybody down! Who wants to eat? Do you want to eat? Then get the fuck off him! [to Andrew] Olivia: I'm so sorry. We just don't have the time to train them. Who's got the time to train them?
Andrew Largeman: So how do people know what's real? Sam: Well, I always feel bad afterwards and admit them when they're lies. Can you trust that?
Andrew Largeman: It's like the Wailing Wall. Sam: What? Andrew Largeman: The Wailing Wall. It's like the most holy place for Jews to go an pray in Israel. It's all that's left of this enormous temple that was destroyed by the Romans. Sam: So you're l...
Mark: I do apply myself every day, mom. I work my ass off burying dead people, okay? I'm only 26. I'm not in any rush. What's your rush for?
Sam: Large. I think I see one. Andrew Largeman: [crying] Shut up. Sam: Yeah, I do. Wait, wait, wait. We should save it or something. [runs to get a paper cup] Sam: Okay, don't move! Andrew Largeman: We could put it in my scrapbook if I had a scrapboo...
Mark: Hey! If you ever need a Kato you know where to find me.
Mark: Silent velcro. You lucky mother fucker. Andrew Largeman: I feel like if I would shown up at school and presented the idea of silent velcro they would have sent me away a whole lot sooner. Sam: Why did they send you away? Jesse: Ooh, listen to t...
Andrew Largeman: [to Sam while a dog humps his leg] Got any suggestions? Sam: [laughing] What? Andrew Largeman: [louder] You got any suggestions? Sam: Yeah, kick his balls. Kick his balls! Andrew Largeman: I don't wanna destroy future generations of ...
Andrew Largeman: So why were you really there? Sam: Charging. I'm a robot.
Jesse: But your mom was in the wheelchair long before you left. Andrew Largeman: Yeah. Well, I was nine. So they sent me to therapy and put me on these drugs that were supposed to curb my anger and I've been on some form of them ever since. And when ...
Andrew Largeman: It was nice meeting you. Sam: You didn't. I'm Sam. Andrew Largeman: [shakes hand] Andrew. Sam: Nice to meet you. Good luck with your head.
Andrew Largeman: Why are you crying? Sam: I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this. It's just like, it's so sad. You know? It's so tragic, isn't it? It feels like real life tragedy or something. Andrew Largeman: Anyway, let's just change th...
Mark: Hey look, what do you gotta do today? Because, uh, I got you a little going away present but I gotta kind of track it down first. So can you give me a ride? Andrew Largeman: Yeah, I just uh. Mark: What? Andrew Largeman: No, nothing. I just, um....
Andrew Largeman: What could be ruder than talking about someone else who died when you're in the act of burying a close friend? Sam: Well, what should we do? Andrew Largeman: I don't know. I've only been to one of these things. You appear to be the e...
Olivia: Samantha, put the clothes in the dryer and bury Jelly.
Andrew Largeman: [a dog humps his leg] "He's got to be close to finishing now" Sam: [Dog speeds up his humping] "Not yet, here comes the lipstick"
